Throughout the entire novel Leila does not make a clear transition into adulthood because she was forced into adulthood at such an early age while there are keep child-like qualities that didn't disappear. Leila made her way into adulthood at an early age because of the cultural transition her mother choose to make into Amercia culture. In order to survive Mah had to take on the very grueling and demanding job of sewing and cloth making, in order to get her load done on time her enlisted the help of Leila, who was only a young child (185). Leila was also taught how to run the entire household if needed and soon when she gained two younger sisters she then learned to take care of them (175).
This is where the Chinese culture stayed intact of family taking care of family and every member being completely self-sufficient. In an American culture child were meant to play and have fun and not taught all those skills at once. Later in the novel Leila even took on the parental role of looking after her parents, like locating Leon if he went missing or calming down Mah if she is upset.
Leila also remained child-like by remaining completely obedient to her family members and doing as they say like a child would. She would hang on their every word and come to their defense if Nina tried speaking out against them. She was also child-like when it came to what her Mah wanted, when Leon left she asked her daughter to live with her, but Leila wanted to live with Mason (89). Mah didn't want to be alone but Leila couldn't tell her mother no. Lelia also couldn't tell her mother that she wanted to move in with Mason (181) or that really wants to leave.
Just as Lei's family is never fully repaired, her sense of self cannot fully develop. She is always stuck between two worlds: China and America, happy and sad, child and adult. She wants to pick a side but she feels held back by others and guilty for pursuing her own wants. She doesn't see the damage that she's done to herself in trying to fix everyone else, which I think is why she gets stuck on tiny details as she tells her family story. She's too busy helping everyone else cope, she can't cope herself with even the tiniest thing.
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